So Tired
by OfficialHeroesOfOlympus
Summary: You look at them from far away. The green eyed boy and the blue eyed girl, the two blondes. Your first kiss, your first crush, your first boyfriend, your Lucas. Suddenly, it doesn't matter anymore. Everything that happened with him, doesn't matter because she loves him. She loves him. He loves her. You love him as well, but it doesn't matter. (Oneshot)


_You look at them from far away. The green eyed boy and the blue eyed girl, the two blondes. Your first kiss, your first crush, your first boyfriend, your Lucas. Suddenly, it doesn't matter anymore. Everything that happened with him, doesn't matter because she loves him. She loves him. He loves her. You love him as well, but it doesn't matter._

You loved him first. He was your first crush, first kiss, first boyfriend, first love, first _everything_. But it doesn't matter. She loves him, she loved him from the start but never told anyone. She didn't tell you, so you didn't know.

You notice now, all those nicknames, relentless teases, shirt pulling, they were her ways of flirting. You always thought of it as nothing but now you knew, it was something. The way she pulled him close up to her, their faces centimetres apart, was her way of telling him she wanted something more. She wanted them to be more than friends. She wanted to kiss him.

And she almost did that one time. They didn't know you were there, behind a bush, witnessing the whole thing. The campfire crackling, filling the air with heat and casting long shadows on the ground.

You saw it.

You saw the green eyed boy leaning towards her, their mouths close, too close for your comfort. But it didn't matter because at that moment, you were his sister and nothing more. You saw the way her eyes had lighted up at the sudden move, pleading, begging, him to close the distance between them. To press his body against hers and his lips against hers.

But he didn't.

He backed away and you saw the blue eyed girl sadden. Why did he back away? That didn't matter. You knew he wanted something more between them, you knew he wanted to kiss, you knew he wanted her and not you.

So, why did he not kiss her?

Ignoring the burning question, you turned away and proceeded to head in the direction of the place where you were temporarily staying.

* * *

You felt your heart being ripped into a million pieces and being stomped on. You looked at them from afar. They were on their date. Their first date. They weren't talking, the opposite of what happened on your date with the boy.

Maybe that was how a date should go? Total silence, no talking? How should you know?

You had gone on your date with the other boy, Charlie Gardner. You tried so hard to like him, to fall for him the way you fell for the green eyed boy. He was a nice boy, offering to give you his jacket when you were cold in the cinema and letting you squeeze his arms when the scary parts of the movie happened.

But when you looked into Charlie's murky green eyes, you wished you were staring into emerald green eyes.

When your date ended, you immediately headed back to Topanga's and from the window, you could see them. The blue eyed girl and the green eyed boy sat on a couch together, the sides of their body pressed together.

They stared straight ahead, no talking whatsoever. However, you could see the blue eyed girl anticipating for the green eyed boy to do something. To make a move. She probably wanted him to kiss her.

Who wouldn't want those lips on theirs? He had the most soft and luscious lips you had ever seen. And you felt them before. Placed against your own lips as well. If you had known things would have gone downhill from there, you would have kissed him longer.

Unfortunately, things did go downhill and it was all entirely your fault.

* * *

Your back slid down your bedroom door as you pulled your legs to your chest, your heart pounding in your ears. You buried your head into your thighs and you cried.

Your body shook from your sobs and you felt the tears falling down from your eyes and being soaked up by your sweater.

The brown haired boy had warned you. He had warned you that he would tell your secret to everyone. That you still _loved_ the green eyed boy.

Recalling the looks on the green eyed boy's face and the blue eyed girl's, you cried even more.

The blue eyed girl was your best friend. You couldn't believe how selfish you were for still being in love with her crush. She had suffered enough loss, enough pain. You had promised you would never add to her pain.

And you did just that.

She had looked hurt, confused and in disbelief.

However, the green eyed boy's expression flashed in your mind. He had the same emotions as the blue eyed girl but you saw something else.

You saw _Hope_ and _Happiness_.

And you couldn't help but wonder if you were imagining things or if that was for real.

Suddenly, things didn't feel as bad as it was and you felt a familiar emotion squeezing its way back into your heart.

Hope.


End file.
